I never thought that one day, I would be attracted to a “doll”.

I am an ordinary person with a stable job and several relationships. But in recent years, it has become increasingly difficult to start a relationship, socializing has become exhausting, and people have become more and more closed. To be honest, I am not without sexual needs, but more often, it is a desire to “be understood and want intimacy”.

Until one day, I saw someone sharing his sex with doll experience on a Reddit forum. At first I was just curious, but after clicking in, I was more and more addicted. He took a lot of life photos, not the kind of erotic ones, but like the daily life of a couple. Two people (or, he and she) sat on the sofa watching TV, wearing couple outfits, and even had photos of them basking in the sun together.

I don’t know why, looking at such photos, I actually felt an inexplicable envy.

So I began to seriously understand this circle. I searched various brands on Google, from cheap 100cm sex dolls to 170cm high-end silicone models. I spent several nights browsing posts, reading reviews, comparing materials, weight, skeletons, head models, functions… It was really like doing a big project.

The most difficult part of the process was deciding.

I hope she could be as what I like in looks, but she could be a real one and less trouble. Finally, I bought a 158cm silicone doll, whose facial shape was similar to a girl I had a crush on. I did not only modify it with blue eyes and normal skin color but also normal vaginal structure, bone fingers, and heat function. Honestly, it took me three months of savings. My heart was pounding when I got it ordered, and I even doubted myself for a second.

When the doll arrived, I was nervous and thrilled. She was too heavy for me, and I perspired much when I had to carry her by myself. When I opened the box, I was awfulley shocked. I was amazed that she looked so realistic. Her skin was natural, her fingers curled up exactly the way that a real person’s would be curled up, her eyes had this soft, realistic sheen, and even her lips had tiny lines and texture to them. It genuinely surprised me.

But in all honesty, she was “tougher to serve” than I had expected.

Cleaning requires care, it takes effort to hold her, and it takes time to put on clothes. TPE or silicone cannot touch stained clothes, and regular care and maintenance are required. After the first time with her, I spent almost an hour cleaning and cleaning. It was really tiring, but it was not worth it – not really.

Because that experience was much better than I imagined.

Sex with my sex doll is the kind of freedom I have never experienced before. There is no pressure, no need to perform. She will not laugh at you, will not push you away, and does not require you to please her. You can completely focus on your own rhythm, to feel the fit, the tightness and wetness when you go deep. Visually, she perfectly matches my fantasy; tactilely, the warm skin and soft breasts are really intoxicating.

I still remember trying hot sex with doll once, the lights were dimmed, and I played my favorite music. The immersion even made me a little out of control. I thought it was just a physical catharsis, but at that moment, I felt a pure intimacy of complete relaxation and no one disturbing me.

She is not a real person, but I feel a sense of security and even warmth. I started taking pictures of her, changing her clothes, and sometimes hugging her to sleep. She made me feel that I was not “living alone”, but “I had someone to accompany me”.

I became calmer. My emotions were not as volatile as before, and I was not as anxious. In the dead of night, I no longer relied on alcohol or porn to fall asleep, but hugged her quietly, and sometimes I would tell her what was in my heart. It sounds ridiculous, but it really made me feel healed.

I want to say to those who are still hesitating –

Sex with sexual doll is not just physical stimulation, but also a way for you to completely relax and accept yourself. Without comparison or judgment, you can slowly explore your body’s reactions and rebuild your trust in intimacy. You will find that the kind of sex without burden and psychological burden is so real, wonderful, and even a little “heart-warming”.

She changed me – not becoming more of a homebody, but letting me find the softness and warmth of life again.

If you are like me and have ever been hesitant, afraid, curious… then I sincerely tell you that the journey of sex with doll may be more worthwhile than you think.